anyprice: (any icons marked DNT are commissioned/made for me) (Default)
ᴉʞsoʞ odɯɐS ([personal profile] anyprice) wrote2024-02-29 03:51 am

IC INBOX = KAISOU

Hey there, fam!! Caught me at a bad time! I might be in between jobs or, heheh, in between worlds even!! Leave ol' Sampo a message and he'll get STRAIGHT back to you as soon as he can! You can count on me!

username:
Mr.ColdFeet
📷
illucesco: (the heart of a child is beating)

[personal profile] illucesco 2024-04-20 04:43 am (UTC)(link)
i know. i won’t be stupid. it’s just…

yeah, there’s a lot of capable people here. but if i have this power and i didn’t use it to help, i’d feel like shit. if you see something wrong and can do something about it, you should.


[His father taught him that.]

i’m not planning on making a last stand and blowing my entire life span on a strike. multiple people, you included, would bring me back and then kill me. hell from what wuxian says he might actually literally be able to do it. i just

it’s just

i don’t know how to put this, but it feels like his fate is being held over my head.

does it feel like that for you, sometimes? like the baggage from your past life is hanging over your head, ready to drop at any moment? like bits from his history will repeat into yours and you don’t know which ones?
[Like not being there when his father dies in a violent invasion, for example.]
Edited 2024-04-20 04:45 (UTC)
illucesco: (they drove my tears)

[personal profile] illucesco 2024-04-21 05:28 pm (UTC)(link)
it wasn’t like i asked for a self-destruct button, i didn’t even know one existed for me. let alone multiple. don’t worry, the worst one’s in a safe in my apartment. it’s only that…

[The three dots bounce on the screen for a long time, as if Noctis is trying to figure out the best way to talk about this. Then:]

my memories are fuzzy. clearer now since the fae. please don’t tell anyone this.

he died saving his world.

he didn’t want to, but it was the only way and he was the only one who had the ability. even if he wasn’t he would’ve done it anyway—he was a king, and so many people he loved had died to get him to that point, he couldn’t do any less. but at the same time, looking at it from my perspective, it just

i feel sick thinking about it. and i know it’s ridiculous to worry that might be waiting in store for me if i’m not careful but. with the royal arms and now the ring of the lucii (the thing in the safe), and what happened to dad, it feels like they’re adding up to a warning of some kind. like there’s danger on the way and i need to be prepared against it.

you’re not wrong that it feels like a ticking time bomb. each time i get a royal arm i wonder what the hell the spirit realm or the shopkeeper or whoever is trying to tell me. i’d move forward, i’m honestly trying, but it’s hard to do that when every so often something from your past life pops up in the bushes just to remind you of something fucked up.


[Or when you’re still grieving and haven’t quite managed to visit your father’s grave or storage locker in a while.]

…yeah, i know.

there’s not enough room up here in my head for an uninvited guest, anyway, it’s crammed full of programming stuff. so you can rest easy, bc i’m not gonna do something really stupid unless, say, some apocalypse engulfs the city.